The Gift Horse

Everyone knows the old saying, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth." The origins of this idiom are ancient and unknown, but the meaning remains clear to this day. Be grateful upon receiving a gift and don't ruin it by trying to ascertain its value. Apparently, whoever created this axiom never heard of the Trojan Horse- the ingenious vessel used by the Greeks to smuggle a troop of soldiers into the city of Troy and capture it. Had the people of Troy shined a light into that gift horse's mouth they might have rewritten the world's history. Perhaps the Trojan war would have ended differently and we'd all be watching news stories about the Trojan economy receiving a bailout. Which they would most likely look into before spending.

But I must digress. If I keep exploring alternate historical outcomes this is soon going to become an episode of Back To The Future.

Anyway, while it may not be gracious to analyze the value of a gift you are given, I want to put it forth to you readers that it is completely acceptable to judge the wrapping that adorns it. Though maybe wait until the gift giver is out of earshot. 

Gift giving in regards to my upbringing is best described as multifaceted. My parents, born and raised in India, were not very familiar with the whole concept of gift wrapping at first. Add to this that as a new family just starting out in a new country we had no choice but to be frugal. While you may be thinking that this story doesn't end well, there is one more in character developing ingredient to add to the pot. Both of my parents were determined to give my sister and I full exposure to the traditions and customs of America. So birthdays had colorfully wrapped presents and parties. Cake and streamers were never too far off. It was wonderful. 

Christmas, though completely secular, was celebrated with all the trappings that made sense. The tree was fake, of course. We've had it for over 20 years now, and the darned thing has never produced one single snake. We even had the miniature train set chugging around its base, stockings hung nearby, and a plate of cookies left out for Santa (which to this day my mom swears she didn't eat). And the presents were all colorfully wrapped and placed lovingly under the tree. At a glance, it would seem to be a picture book holiday season.

But let's take a look at those presents again shall we? What's does the wrapping on that one say? By golly, it reads, "Happy Birthday!" And the one next to it with pictures of flower pots on it looks like it was wrapped in wallpaper. Something is a bit fishy here, and I'm not just talking about the box wrapped in the Entertainment section of the newspaper. Oh look, Free Willy is playing! 

You see, my parents were all about giving us an American Christmas, but there were a few limitations. They were not about to wait in line at the mall for the professional gift wrappers. Once my mother figured out how it was done, there was no reason for that anymore. Being a frugal man, my dad would buy wrapping paper from the supermarket or even the Dollar Store. Its just that sometimes he wouldn't see what he had picked up. That's why when I was in 4th grade I had to explain to my parents that wrapping a gift in paper that says Happy Hanukkah is only okay if you don't leave it under the tree with a note that says it's from Santa. 

My parents were actually very quick to figure it out. My extended family is another story. I have gotten gifts wrapped in practically every every way you can think of, and some you can't. Most are given in shopping bags, not usually for the store at which the present was bought. (Bonus: sometimes the gifts would unintentionally smell like bananas.) Newspaper was used only once, though they made sure that the front of the present proudly displayed an ad for a department store holiday sale. It had snowflakes on it. 

But the top prize goes to my cousin. In 2001 we all met in Florida for Christmas and he had flown in by himself from Indianapolis. He hadn't had the time to wrap the presents, so as we're all exchanging gifts, he hands me a bundle of terrycloth and smiles at my befuddled expression."Open it", he says. As I unravel what I now realize is a towel wrapped around my gift, my expression changes from befuddled to highly amused I hear the rest of my family laughing right along. My cousin, not having any wrapping paper, opted to tie a town around this present (it was a book) and give it with all the holiday spirit he could muster. For that, he wins.

The best part? After we all have a good laugh, he asks me for the towel back. "I've got to wrap everyone else's presents too." he says.