Readers, I have had a revelation. If this blog is going to go anywhere, I'm going to have to step up my game. From hence forth, I will be publishing a new post to this blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. You may think I'm crazy, and you are entitled to your opinion. However, this means that you voluntarily read the blatherings of a crazy man. The problem here, my friend, lies with you.
Be that as it may, I find it hard to describe my reasons for deciding to write a regular blog. What I shall do instead is write a list of possible reasons from which you, my faithful readers, may choose the ones that tickle your fancy.
Reasons For Writing A Blog Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday:
1) I am hoping somebody will start paying me for this.
2) My fans have been scratching and clawing for me to put up new posts. (yes, some of my fans are cats)
3) I am the six-fingered man, and this blog is the only thing keeping the Spaniard at bay.
4) In life, regularity is a good thing, and I'm hoping that having a regular blog will help encourage other aspects of my life to follow a more regular schedule.
5) Monday, Wednesday and Friday are all days that end in "y", which is also the first letter of "yes". Positive energy all around!
6) Every other day, Italian mobsters with no necks come by my house and demand payment in the form of a blog post. They say its for protection, but who are they protecting me from? Trolls?
7) Each time I post a blog, I am automatically granted an entry into the Gemini Croquet Contest to win an all inclusive luxury cruise aboard Flostan Paradise.
8) It helps me remember when I'm supposed to take my medication.
9) After every blog post, I pluck a hair from between my eyebrows. I'm hoping they'll be fully separated by beach season.
10) I want my mom to think I'm cool.
11) I've hired a dominatrix to whip me for 30 minutes straight each time I don't get a post in on time. For your sakes, let's hope I'm not into it.
12) The Governor of Pennsylvania has promised me that if I can keep this up for six months straight that he will put a live squirrel down his pants.
Well, there you have it folks. If you can glean my reasons from that puzzlebox of a list, then you've earned yourself a cookie. Remember to check back on Friday for another post. If not, I promise to post a live feed of my whipping on Saturday.
Be that as it may, I find it hard to describe my reasons for deciding to write a regular blog. What I shall do instead is write a list of possible reasons from which you, my faithful readers, may choose the ones that tickle your fancy.
Reasons For Writing A Blog Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday:
1) I am hoping somebody will start paying me for this.
2) My fans have been scratching and clawing for me to put up new posts. (yes, some of my fans are cats)
3) I am the six-fingered man, and this blog is the only thing keeping the Spaniard at bay.
4) In life, regularity is a good thing, and I'm hoping that having a regular blog will help encourage other aspects of my life to follow a more regular schedule.
5) Monday, Wednesday and Friday are all days that end in "y", which is also the first letter of "yes". Positive energy all around!
6) Every other day, Italian mobsters with no necks come by my house and demand payment in the form of a blog post. They say its for protection, but who are they protecting me from? Trolls?
7) Each time I post a blog, I am automatically granted an entry into the Gemini Croquet Contest to win an all inclusive luxury cruise aboard Flostan Paradise.
8) It helps me remember when I'm supposed to take my medication.
9) After every blog post, I pluck a hair from between my eyebrows. I'm hoping they'll be fully separated by beach season.
10) I want my mom to think I'm cool.
11) I've hired a dominatrix to whip me for 30 minutes straight each time I don't get a post in on time. For your sakes, let's hope I'm not into it.
12) The Governor of Pennsylvania has promised me that if I can keep this up for six months straight that he will put a live squirrel down his pants.
Well, there you have it folks. If you can glean my reasons from that puzzlebox of a list, then you've earned yourself a cookie. Remember to check back on Friday for another post. If not, I promise to post a live feed of my whipping on Saturday.
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